Allah says:

لِكَيْلَا تَأْسَوْا عَلَىٰ مَا فَاتَكُمْ وَلَا تَفْرَحُوا بِمَا آتَاكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُور
سورة الحديد، الآية 23

“So that you may not grieve over what has escaped you, nor become overly joyful because of what you have gained. And Allah does not like every self-deluded and boastful person.”
Qur’an 57:23

There are some verses in the Qur’an that feel as though they speak directly to something deep within us. This is one of them.

As human beings, we naturally become attached to the things we want. We grieve when we lose something. We replay the things that did not happen, the opportunities we missed, the people who left, and the paths that never worked out. And when we finally receive something we have prayed for, we may feel as though life has finally gone the way we wanted.

But in this verse, Allah teaches us something beautiful: do not allow what happens around you to completely control your heart.

“So that you may not grieve over what has escaped you…”

This does not mean that we are not allowed to feel sad. We are human. Loss hurts. Disappointment hurts. Missing someone hurts.

But there is a difference between feeling sadness and allowing that sadness to consume you.

Sometimes we mourn a door that closed without knowing what was behind it. We grieve a person who left, a job we did not get, an opportunity we missed, or a dream that did not happen. At the time, we may believe that losing it means we have lost everything.

But sometimes, years later, we look back and realize that what we called a loss was actually protection. What we thought was the end was simply Allah redirecting us toward something we could not see yet.

There are things we desperately wanted that Allah did not give us. There are doors we begged to remain open that eventually closed. And there are moments when we could not understand why.

But perhaps we were never meant to understand them at the time.

Allah sees what we cannot see. He knows what we do not know. And sometimes, what feels like a loss to us is a form of mercy we are not yet able to recognize.

Then Allah says:

“Nor become overly joyful because of what you have gained.”

This does not mean that we should not be happy about our blessings. Islam does not forbid joy.

Rather, it teaches us not to let our happiness turn into arrogance, entitlement, or attachment.

You may receive the money you prayed for, the success you worked for, the relationship you hoped for, or the opportunity you waited for. You may finally feel like everything has fallen into place.

But everything we have is ultimately a gift from Allah, and everything in this life is capable of changing.

So just as our losses should not destroy us, our blessings should not make us feel superior to others.

The verse ends with:

“And Allah does not like every self-deluded and boastful person.”

When we understand that everything we have is a blessing from Allah, there is no room for arrogance.

Our beauty, our success, our wealth, our relationships, our opportunities, and everything else we possess can change in an instant. None of it belongs to us permanently.

Perhaps this is one of the most comforting lessons in the verse:

Do not let what you lost own your heart, and do not let what you gained own your heart either.

Learn from the past, appreciate the present, and leave the future to Allah.

You cannot change what has already happened. You cannot guarantee that what you have today will remain forever. But you can trust that Allah knows the entire picture while you only see a small part of it.

Maybe that is why this verse brings so much peace.

You do not have to understand every loss.

You do not have to know why a certain door closed.

You do not have to know what is waiting for you around the corner.

You only have to remember that what passed you by was never meant to be yours, and what reached you was never outside Allah’s knowledge and decree.

So when you lose something, do not tell yourself, “My life is over.”

And when you gain something, do not tell yourself, “I will never lose this.”

Instead, trust Allah.

Grieve, but do not let grief consume you.

Celebrate, but do not let celebration make you arrogant.

Because life will always bring things we did not expect: things we will lose, things we will gain, doors that will close, and doors we never knew existed.

And through all of it, the heart can remain steady when it knows that Allah’s wisdom is greater than what we can see.

What passed you by was never yours.

What reached you was never outside Allah’s plan.

And whatever Allah has written for you will never miss you.